There is not a lot new going on in our life right now...Ricky is finishing up his class-one step closer to graduation. I'm working and feeding our baby, occasionally working out and getting panicked about the amount of crap constantly all up in my space. Cody just finished his last tennis match of the high school season and is getting ready to go to the state tournament. Ooh, which means I get to take a day off of work...sweet!
However, in my head swim many thoughts. Thoughts about life and raising kids. How to rearrange our house and what I should be planning to work on tomorrow at my job. I constantly run numbers to figure out when we will be out of debt and I pray and ask God to help me be a good mom. I plan out our electrical system and think about when I'm going to change out the pads on our swamp cooler before it gets too warm. I stress about not working out enough and then stress more about what I'm going to cook for dinner and if we really need to buy that large tube of ground beef or if I can get away with just making breakfast for dinner all week. I'm reading a book called Raising a child with soul (or something like that) and it is feeding this innate desire inside of me to see my baby grow up loving the Lord and loving people. I have decided that we will block our house off next year and make the back half a two room apartment and we will live in the front half...by ourselves...for the first time ever. I helped Cody finish filing his taxes tonight and realized that taxes are no big deal and I will never stress about them again. But, in the midst of filing them I lost an important paper of Cody's and again began to stress about the amount of crap in our office. Piles of crap. I have to get them cleaned before this weekend because Karen is coming to visit. And the women's retreat from church is this weekend. I double booked my weekend. How does an adult person do that, I ask myself? And then I go through a series of not even thought but definitely there thoughts regarding my responsibility levels and why I continually make the same mistakes over and over. Still haven't decided what I'm going to do about the double-booking. Karen is coming from Seattle but I paid for the women's retreat and was really looking forward to it. And I lost my office phone--somewhere in all of my crap. I have the most beautiful baby in the whole world...but I can't tell her that once she gets bigger because she might get vain and I don't want that. But she is beautiful.
And now my mind is empty. Think I will go read about the Lies Women Believe. Tomorrow I will clean my office. Tonight I will clean my kitchen...and then go read...or maybe just go to sleep.
Hope ya'll have a great day.
No comments:
Post a Comment